To preface this post, I want to start by saying this is not a style post, just some things that have been on my mind lately, and I want to start incorporating posts like this into my blog. It's also a tad long, oops... Hope you enjoy!
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about comfort zones and security blankets; what those words mean and what my comfort zones and security blankets are in life. Yesterday, while visiting a friend, we began talking about the subject, and I realized how many different comforts and securities I have. I don't think of myself as a shy person by any means. I love meeting new people and making friends, new places don't usually scare or intimidate me, and new experiences tend to excite me, so why do I have so many things that make me uncomfortable?
We all have insecurities.
When I went to mass this morning, I noticed that at my home church, I always sit in a pew in the back right corner. ALWAYS. Maybe it's because I grew up sitting in that area, maybe it's because I tend to be late, I don't know for sure, but I feel at ease there.
Talking with my friend, I also realized I don't like seeing people I know either too well or not well enough in public if I am not purposely hanging out with them. This happens to me often, and I am trying to overcome this, but I feel it's one of the most awkward encounters. Should you say Hey! or ask how they're doing and act as though you've known/ liked each other for years, or should you just smile and walk past..... What do you do?
Comfort zones and security blankets are like habits, you can't help it sometimes. They can be anything. Your favorite pair of jeans that have a slimming effect and match everything, that restaurant you frequent so much and order the same thing every time at, driving the same way home from work, painting your nails the same shade, going back to the same boy over and over again, your best friend you always call with all of life's problems; anything. Most of mine are subconscious, I don't think about them actively. Not all of them are bad or harmful to your life, but the anxieties and worry that stem from changing and rearranging your comfort zones and security blankets are all the same.
The more I thought about comfort zones and security blankets, the more I began to wonder how I could overcome those that could potentially be harmful. No, not things like painting your nails the same shade or wearing your go-to jeans all the time. I'm referring to things like eating mounds of chocolate when you're sad or texting the boy that broke your heart, things that could have the potential to be detrimental. That sparked a huge wave of worry and anxiety...
Worry is a form of unbelief.
And, just like clockwork, my Jesus calling passage for today discussed worries and anxieties and how they originate from such evil things. When we worry, we are saying that we don't have faith that we are in the hands of the Lord, that whatever happens, he ultimately has our best interests in mind. I had never thought of my worries that way. Those changes that come from sorting the bad comforts and securities from the good are bound to stir worry and stress, but that is why we have a creator who takes those burdens from us. He is in charge of our life; He holds the reigns, and we should surrender to His almighty power and cast those burdens onto him. Those insecurities can be overcome with a little help from Our Father.
Surrendering is not always the easiest...
I have had anxiety issues for years. Not serious issues treated with medicine, but internal attacks that can ruin my day. I have always been taught not to worry and stress about things, but until I got to college, I never took those words seriously. I have started making conscious efforts to prevent my worry by reminding myself of the Lord's promises. And yesterday, while I thought of my comfort zones and security blankets and began thinking about this blog post, I told myself I had nothing to worry about, God is on my side.
This morning in church, I made a promise to myself to stop sitting in the back right corner as often. This, of course, is not technically potentially harmful, but it would be nice to be closer to the alter; maybe I will pay more attention to the sermon, and it never hurts to be closer to the Eucharist; closer to Jesus himself, amirite?? Yesterday, I mentally took note of the fact that I don't greet people I know as I should and vowed to be more friendly and engaging.
I have also promised to bring my worries to the Lord more often, not to hold back or keep them held in, but to release them to Him, and in turn, receive his grace and perseverance to overcome the harmful habits I have.
"So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today."
This passage brings me comfort, and in some ways I guess it's one of my comforts/securities sent from above.
Have a blessed Sunday!!
Sarah Rose
